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We Need a New Language for Talking About Suicide

November 20, 2017
David Cooper | Eli's Place Founding Director

The language around suicide is outdated and harmful. The word “commit” is tied to crimes — murder, robbery, assault — and it carries a weight of shame. Shifting our words may feel small, but it is an act of kindness that eases stigma for survivors and honours those we’ve lost.

As the co-founder of Eli’s Place and a Volunteer Grief Counsellor at the Toronto Distress Centre, I am very sensitive to the language shift that has occurred in recent years surrounding suicide in mental health circles. I attended a talk recently where the speaker used the phrase ‘committed suicide’ in reference to a celebrity death and was reminded that, while those directly involved in the world of mental health have left that phrase behind, many in the general population have not.

It is common to hear someone say, or to read in a news account, that someone “commits” suicide. This is a prevalent term. Yet the word “commits” has a negative connotation. I would like to suggest we consider a change of language, as it is no longer considered correct to use the word “committed” in describing a suicide. It is now a more common and appropriate practice to use the phrase “died by suicide” or “took his/her life”.

In 1972, suicide was decriminalized in Canada, and now, someone who attempts suicide is not liable to arrest under the Criminal Code. Thankfully laws have changed, but our language has not, and the residue of shame associated with the committal of a genuine crime remains attached to suicide.

Think of what else the word “commits” is used for. Somebody commits murder, or commits rape, or commits robbery. What is the common denominator? The word “commits” in combination with a noun often signifies a crime or another act of wrongdoing.

com·mit /kəˈmit/verb: carry out or perpetrate (a mistake, crime, or immoral act).

By shifting our language around suicide, we have the power to reduce some of the massive shame carried by survivors of suicide. By changing our language about suicide, we’re offering an act of kindness. It might seem small but the interpersonal impact is enormous.

A person who attempts suicide or dies by suicide is experiencing deep emotional pain, hopelessness, or mental illness – or all of the above. Such pain does not make someone a criminal. But the word “commits” makes suicide sound like a crime. For this reason, I suggest we use the phrase “died by suicide,” a neutral, factual term.

David Cooper | Eli's Place Founding Director

Founding Director & Board Member at Eli’s Place Residential Treatment and Transition Centre | Website

David, Eli’s father, is a retired business owner with extensive corporate and non-profit experience. Founder of STUFF Canada, a non-profit created in 1999 to reduce homelessness and poverty in Toronto, David was the 2004 recipient of the New Spirit of Community Award, Canadian Centre for Philanthropy, and the Peter F. Drucker Award for NFP Innovation in 2003. David, a suicide loss survivor, is the co-author of Bridge over the River Why, a guide for parents who have lost children to suicide, and is currently a volunteer grief facilitator for the Toronto Distress Center. David is a Founding Board Member of Eli’s Place.